An Eventful Month

It has been a challenging month. I had surgery originally on my right foot on Thursday, September 17 to straighten it. I was hospitalized again last Thursday for an infection. I had surgery again last Friday to remove two pins from my heel and curarize open wounds. I have a pic line for antibiotics and a wound vac changed twice a week.

Prayers please that this infection will leave my body soon.

God Promises

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God promises to give me strong

legs to run,

To restore my muscles in my

feet to walk,

To give me the endurance

to stand,

To give me strength in

mind, body, and soul,

To give me the stamina to go on.

He promises a total restoration of

health and well-being,

and bestow many blessings upon me.

How do I know this?

Because God promises these

things all to me,

He loves me so.

God promises a reflection of hope,

grace and faith,

Jesus Christ is real,

True and magnificent.

Through Him, there is

anything possible.

I walk by sight,

Not by ignorance,

I see His glory in everything.

In this old world,

we tend to live through

our own fears and doubts.

Do not be deceived,

Do not walk in darkness,

As the rest of the world,

Do not take on problems

of the modern world,

But look upward,

Toward heaven to Jesus

and God’s promises.

Freedom of Speech – A Must Read for Both Women and Men

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On Thursday night, millions across the nation were watching as President Trump made his acceptance speech for nomination for reelection. Eyes were glued to the ‘tube or tellie’ as the president and his wife walked down the steps of the White House. I felt the effect of the RNC ending on the front lawn of the White House was effective. Ears were alert and listening earnestly, as to not miss a single word of the speech.

The president started his speech by thanking his supportive wife and family. A nice touch, but as Trump spoke, I couldn’t help but believe it was a repeat of 2016’s acceptance speech. It was sort of dry to me. The only thing I related to was the needs of the critically ill and health protection for pre-existing medical conditions. He did talk about his opponent, of course, former Vice-President Biden.

I expressed my opinion on my own FB page the next day. I expected a reaction, but not a war. One crazy woman (I will call her) responded with “hateful and heartless”  feedback about Trump. She sounded very angry in general. First, he was a demon – oh my God! He took children away from their parents’ arms and he lied 20,000 times. I’m impressed that she even counted at all. Chuckle. By her responses, she actually showed her ignorance.

My own sister responded back that she was adamant about voting for the person God intended for our country. This same crazy woman started to backlash my sister. She said Trump was Godless and that my sister was out of her mind. In my sister’s defense, I expressed that my sister had the right to express her own free opinion. Yet, the crazy woman kept commenting and with it, promoting more offensive and hurtful feedback against me and anybody else defending my opinion.

More damaging was a man’s response to my sister that ‘dumb women’ voted for President Trump. Whoa – you’ve hit below the belt! I am a well-educated, intelligent, talented, and articulate woman. I am not a liberalist nor advocating for a women’s rights movement, but I do believe in what is right.

My sister’s feelings were hurt. I could tell. She refuses to comment on my FB page anymore, especially about political matters. I have learned a big lesson here. It is difficult to express yourself, even on your own website. I will not make any more comments about political affairs and/or parties again. It’s a shame that social media has come to this. So much for freedom of speech. In truth, there is no such thing.

 

Recognizing Denial

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A few weeks ago, I watched a program on the Dr. Phil show. It presented Sarah Jakes, who is the daughter of T.D. Jakes, one of America’s most beloved ministers to hit the media. At 13 years of age, she became pregnant and became a mother by age 14. She went on to have the baby, graduate from high school, and be accepted into college. However, at 19, she dropped out of college and started to dance nude at a local nightclub. Sarah claimed she had very low self-esteem when younger and any attention was better than no attention at all, no matter how degrading or offensive to her.

This show was meant for me. In fact, it is freeing after over 40 years. I too had very low self-esteem as a young teenager. Making good grades in middle school (practically straight A’s in every subject), my grades started to decline in highschool. What was worse than poor grades, were my parents’ attitude toward me. When I was 13 years of age, I was approached and sexually molested by a family member (not blood-related). My parents tried to keep it quiet and conceal it from the public, but I was psychologically damaged.

Once I told my parents what happened, the response I got was repulsive. “We stopped it,” was the response. The person who victimized me told my mother it was my imagination as if I made up the whole thing. But I did not, and I have a witness to it.

I didn’t get pregnant nor have a baby. Neither did I drop out of college nor dance nude in a nightclub. I did suffer internally for years, sought professional counseling, and even dated and married an attorney. But truth be known, the psychological damage traveled to my marriage. It caused problems with me and my husband. One reason I am divorced today with no children.

I believe I majored in Abnormal Psychology in college to better understand myself and what I was going through at the time. No wonder my self-esteem was so low. I felt like crap. Adults have a hard enough time with sex. Just think about children. They don’t have the maturity or mental capacity to understand fully what is going on, although children are expected to act appropriately.

When your children speak to you, please listen. Don’t shovel it under the rug, as if to hide it. You are only hurting your child more. Be a protective parent. It happened, but I can not change the past. I can only be aware that it does exist and in wonderful families too.

The Age of Sanctuary

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Are we living in a new age of sanctuary? For six months, we have experienced the effects of COVID-19 on the world. Our nation has encountered the pandemic, as attention is taken off the flu and existing epidemics. Now the emphasis is on the coronavirus and how to treat it, not how to get rid of it. There are some preventive measures with social distancing, wearing facial masks and/or gloves, a sterile clean environment, washing hands often and good hygiene. However, no matter how much caution is taken, the coronavirus is rampant and increasing in number in some states.

Someone near and very dear to me has recently contracted the coronavirus, along with her husband, from his co-worker. It becomes more ‘real-life’ when it hits close to home. Although quarantined for two weeks, it couldn’t have hit at a worse time. School-age children are just starting back to school and people are ready to start a new school year. My elderly father is “at-risk” in an assisted living facility. It seems the weak and the elderly are most vulnerable. Those with pre-existing medical conditions are afraid to expose themselves to an uncertain illness. Obviously, not a safe environment to live in right now.

What becomes of our society in the future? Are we to remain living in fear and staying home? Does this nightmare of the pandemic ever end or is it a reoccurrence from now on? Certainly, things have to change soon. The government tends to not deliver all the news to the public when it happens, yet, the politicians expect to be re-elected to office. I have news for you. Once re-election hits, some of these fears will disappear.  Rather, the public is led to believe that China lied to Americans and “kudos” for President Trump for not believing their bullshit.

It’s an emotional and spiritual roller-coaster – warfare between good and evil. But optimism overrides negativism, as I feel we will overcome this ordeal as a nation. Life precedes death and it will be maintained. America was built on God’s promises to restore and preserve. He will see us through this pandemic. We need to be patient and believe that Jesus Christ will guide us through this trial. Keep the faith and know that the end of this pandemic is coming, hopefully, sooner than later.

 

 

 

The Loss of a Mother

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The loss of a parent is devastating at any age.  I feel blessed that my mother lived to be 90 years old. She was one of the sweetest and loveliest persons I knew. She had an intuitive nature, very smart, and articulate.  Although her passing was sudden, she knew that she was about to leave this earth. That became apparent in her last week when she mentioned to my sister that she was joining her mother in heaven soon.

My mother leaves a legacy behind her life. Reared in the Southeast, her parents brought her up in traditional and Christian beliefs. Mom had one sister, six years older. She married in September 1948. My oldest sister was born in October 1949. Three more daughters were born. My parents were married 71 years when Mom passed in March.

Mom let her family know they were loved. She gave her husband and four daughters love and always proud of her family. As her family grew larger, she still had family gatherings on holidays and special occasions, even when it became difficult for her in her older years.

Mom had a way of telling the truth, yet, subtle manners too. She was a private person and respected her privacy. She would not ask for help, as I feel she was too proud at times to let others know she needed help.

Mom encouraged me to write books. Through my mother, I gained the gift of creativity and imagination. She was the foundation and strength to motivate me in writing. Her praise and feedback were an important part of lifting me up. It added to my confidence as a writer.

My mother helped care for me whenever I was physically ill from infusions/treatments and hospitalizations. She always checked on me to make sure I was okay. She understood I was in pain and rest was/is part of my healing process from medical treatments.

As the weeks pass into months ever since her passing, I feel that sadness is part of the grieving process. There are several levels of grief. I feel I am in the sadness and anger stages. Death is part of life’s process. We expect our parents to live forever, but they don’t. Immortality is an issue to some, but none of us are immortal. Our bodies aren’t equipped or made to last forever. Our bodies are simply vessels of life that go on to live internally with our Lord and Saviour. That is my belief and I will leave it there.

I can not bring my mother back, but I can cherish the wonderful times I experienced with her. She was my best friend and we were very close as a mother/daughter. I miss my mother but blessed that I got to enjoy her stay on earth. One that will last a lifetime of memories for me.

 

A Moment of Prayer

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My mother was a private person. She would not like this post. But she lived an exemplary life. Her journey came to an end on March 23, 2020, after suffering from a heart attack and internal bleeding. Our family buried her on March 28. Mom taught gifted children in public schools and was extremely smart. Mom was a beautiful lady with a loving kind heart. She always did for her family, spouse, and children. She will be missed.

Today, a second cousin was buried after contracting the coronavirus and passed on April 10. He was of great intellect and a writer as well. His book was translated into German, as well as English. He taught American students of military families while living in Germany. He had served in the American Army in Germany for two years.

During this COVID-19 crisis, we are experiencing social distancing and staying at home. There is a lot less social interaction than usual. But I feel it is a time for prayers and to thank our blessings for what we have. I have much to be thankful for, a wonderful family and others who always lend a helping hand. People have been very kind, dropping off meals at the house and being quite helpful.

More specifically, it enlightens my heart that others are generous, even in challenging times. Please take a moment to say a prayer for all those dealing with the devastation of the coronavirus. Not just for the individuals lost, but for the families dealing with grief and sorrow. These are unusual times, but we can cope by helping each other.

God Bless you and your family. Please stay healthy and safe.

Time of Sorrow

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I lost my sweet mother on Monday, March 23rd. She was 90 years old and lived a good long life, but that doesn’t ease the pain. I am numb and my heart is heavy. Will my heart ever stop hurting?

Mom was a beautiful lady. She was kind and always offered a helping hand to those in need. She will be greatly missed by all. We assume our parents will live forever. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they did?

With all this rain, I feel tears from heaven, mourning the passing of a wonderful soul. But what makes me feel better is knowing that Mom is in a better place and out of pain. She is no longer suffering. Her spirit lives on and in my heart.

Uncertain Times – COVID-19

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These are certainly trying times for everyone. There are over 6K reported cases of the coronavirus COVID-19 now in the United States, 60 being very serious. How does a virus spread so fast? Many schools are closed for at least two weeks, businesses are shut down until further notice, even local hospitals are on lockdown with no visitations whatsoever. Today, more government offices closed. It seems that the town has literally shut down.

President Trump’s nonchalant attitude at the beginning of last week indicating that this virus will “go away by itself” is evidently incorrect. It shows either carelessness on his part or he didn’t dig deeper into the source of this virus. The virus originally came from Wuhan, Republic of China (Hubei Province), the largest and most populous city in Central China. There are 11 million people that live there. It affects mostly highly-populated areas and spreads rapidly with human contact (large crowds, social events, and gatherings).

Over the past two months, it has reached the U.S. Washington was the first state to report the virus. About 60 people at Kirkland Senior Living were affected by the coronavirus COVID-19 (both patients and staff members). It was then when Americans got their first alert of the rampant epidemic. Although media covered the spreading of the virus, it is more rampant than originally thought.

A question still remains why Chinese officials didn’t notify American officials sooner of the outbreak of the virus. Was it a deliberate act or a coverup? It shows irresponsibility on China’s part and their unwillingness to help in the prevention of the spreading of the virus. There had to be some conscious decision-making; a virus simply doesn’t treat itself or dissolve. Yes, I am mad and damn mad! Surely, China’s medical professionals are smart enough to know a pandemic outbreak. Americans are exposed to the coronavirus COVID-19 which should have been prevented in the first place.

I’m really appalled and shocked that so many states are affected by this virus. It’s an international epidemic now, not just domestic. PLEASE COMMENT TO THIS POST. DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THIS VIRUS OR DO YOU THINK IT WILL BLOW OVER EVENTUALLY? I would love to hear opinions and feedback from others. I’m getting cabin fever staying inside. May you and your families stay healthy and safe.

 

Time Is Passing By

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Here I sit and wait on one correction to be made on the back flap of cover for my republished book, Saga of the Ages. It has taken nearly a week to get something done. At least my original publisher was faster, although the books were more expensive online. Golden rule: You get what you pay for. I wanted to reproduce a book that was less expensive and more affordable to readers.  I wonder if I invested wisely into republication. There is no way to know until I get results. Are there any other writers or authors out there that have experienced the same thing? Am I just too impatient? It has only been a few weeks if that.