I Never Said I Didn’t like God

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Blogging, Creativity, Inspirational, Networking, Reflection, Social Media, Writing

The other day, I was having a discussion with my sister. Somehow the conversation turned that I was mad at God. I didn’t say that nor meant to imply that. I do like God. In fact, I love Him. I believe I am a very intelligent person, but I put my foot in my mouth at times. On the other hand, I am also a very talented person, but seem to have problems with explaining myself. This is especially true with family members. This seems to be an emotional and stressful week for us.

I feel when there is nothing else to say, that is the time to be silent. Silence is “golden” is the rule here. After all is said and done, no one comes out the winner. How do you win a losing battle? But I do love my family. Their opinions are just that – their opinions. I respect their opinions; they need to respect mine.

This disagreement started last year with some family problems at home. The discussion led to a book I had written in the past. One family member thought the book represented an anti-God image. What it represented was the culture of Egypt and their customs. I wrote on their history, their food and their culture. There was a story too, but fictious. There was a dream denoting some dark feelings, but that was conducive to the story. The main character finds herself in a state of uncertainty until the truth is revealed in the story. It is discovered that she suffers from Lupus, an autoimmune disease. I write about the similarities with my medical condition.

However, what family members don’t realize is that I sell books that way. My books contain action, suspense and mystery. I write historical novels, fictious and created to inspire the imagination of others. That is what I write on. I like to motivate and inspire people. I am not a spiritual writer. I feel if family members want a book written on Christian “pure” ethics, they need to write a book themselves. I feel their narrowmindedness lacks the understanding to open their minds to creativity and artistic values.

While I do believe in Christ, I feel He is all around us. I feel His love and His power. I do worship Christ. I am not a fanatic; I don’t read the Bible 24 hours a day. But I do express my Christian beliefs and values through love and understanding. I feel He has brought me to write for many reasons, all good reasons. I won’t apologize for writing what I enjoy.  I will continue to write as it brings me happiness and purpose in life.

 

Update

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Blogging, Reflection

My neurologist wrote me through the Emory patient portal tonight. I contacted his office yesterday. I do not have Charcot Marie Tooth Disease. I can believe my neurologist I’ve seen for 9 years other than an orthopedic surgeon I’ve seen only twice in my life. Dr. Esper said the disease is a completely and totally different thing. I’m glad to be reassured and Dr. Esper has always answered my questions.

It is good to ask and be sure. That is a big relief. I’m still considering DNA testing for the rare autoimmune condition. I’ve wasted so much time before in other areas. I believe my concentration should be on finishing this newest book and also sending Saga of the Ages away to a script writer. I want the book to be looked at as a potential movie script one day. I told my physical therapist of my dream today. She said why not. Even if I don’t succeed this time, I can try again in the future. What do I have to lose?

On the lighter side, information you might also be interested in. If someone is contacting you through social media and you don’t feel comfortable, you can do something about it. You don’t have to tolerate it or take it. Ignoring it sometimes doesn’t solve the problem either. If you tell this person you wish not to be contacted and they persist, there are steps to take. I contacted an attorney yesterday about rights.

Someone can give an opinion on your social media (blog, twitter, facebook, etc). It is going beyond that to actual defamation of character that warrants action. I did what the attorney told me. Hopefully, I won’t hear back. I’m not impressed with persistence, especially if that person doesn’t get it the first time. In other words, it can also be classified as harassment if it persists.

We Called Him John

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Blogging, Reflection, Writing

Fighting off travel on an Atlanta highway, a couple was anxious to get to the hospital.   It was mid-afternoon and soon the Atlanta people would be getting off work. Traffic would be worse. Earlier that day, there was a call that a young woman had gone into labor. Heavy into labor by the time the couple had arrived at the hospital, the young woman was attended by her mother, standing by her bedside. In addition, the brother of the young woman in labor had also come into the room. Where was the biological father?

The anxious couple entered the hospital room. The baby still had awhile to be born. After a couple of hours, we were told it was time. Time for the delivery and time for the young woman to push. The gentleman wanted to go call others, while the lady waited in the room.

That couple was my husband Tony and me. We had been trying to conceive a child for over ten years, actually twelve years. Several sperm artificial insemination and fertility procedures led to our decision to adopt a child. Within 20 minutes, the doctor was in the room. The baby’s head was crowning and boy, did he have hair.

It must have been a strong push and the baby was out. I counted his fingers. Yes, he had 10 fingers. I counted his toes. Yes, he had all 10 of them. He was perfect and perfectly made. I cried out to God and gave thanks after a successful delivery without complications. But mostly, I gave thanks that God gave me and my husband a beautiful child. The first time I held him, I cried. I didn’t want to let him go. I held him for ten whole days. We called him John. He was beautiful – blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin.

We got to keep the baby until the tenth day. The very last day the birth mother could come back to reclaim her child. It was torture giving back a child you nurtured for ten days. It ripped me and my husband’s hearts out. We did not try to adopt again. It was too painful an ordeal. There are happy endings for some couples and families. We were not one of those people. John

 

Speaker at Cobb County/Metro Atlanta Teachers’ Retirement Program

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Authors, Blogging, Books, Inspirational, Media, Social Media, Writers, Writing

As a retired teacher, I spoke to other retired teachers today. After the luncheon, there was a presentation of authors and then some book signing by authors. I was one of four authors to speak in the area. I went first. Good to do that. People generally remember the first and last speaker. You usually lose your nerve if you have to sit there and think about it.

I thought it went well. I got through the speech. There were some sober moments. An emotional flow of words, mixed in with highs and lows. But the most tortuous part was telling my story of how I got here, how I was inspired and who inspired me through life. My words spoke truth through my tears, my heart and my inner soul. I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

I just got a call from a traditional publisher about radio interviewing. True, I want to get radio interviews scheduled. I do need a way for a publisher to sponsor me. My dilemma is my medical condition, but I would like to start scheduling in the area if I could. If there are any sponsors in the metro-Atlanta area, please contact me. My trouble would be transportation outside the Atlanta area.

I’m starting to feel a little better this week. Going to Augusta to see my neurologist there on April 16. This is my last visit in the study and then every six months thereafter, if I wish to continue seeing Dr. Rivner. I prefer to keep seeing him. He has been a very helpful and knowledgeable source of information when I had no where else to turn.

Back to real life, my home physical therapist is coming tomorrow morning. I delayed occupational therapy this week due to my rigid schedule. Maybe a way to extend my physical therapy. The work over these last few weeks seemed to have help limber me up a little. I’m still stiff, but at least, I can walk across the floor now.

…And Where Is God?

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Blogging, Reflection, Writing

I feel this is an appropriate title for this post. I keep hearing “Where are the Clouds?” in my head. All I can come up with is “Don’t bother, they are here.” But actually, I am feeling much better than last week. Besides IVG Gammagard infusions, I had a viral stomach bug last week. My mother came down with nausea and dizziness today. The medication seems to be helping her.

My weight has dramatically dropped since last week, I weight 112 lbs. now in shoes and clothes. The head nurse of the home infusions services said I would get pre-meds next time to reduce the after effects of infusions. My question is why wouldn’t that had been done this time?

I have silent challenges and unspoken prayers. In fact, I would rather you no longer “say” that you will pray for me. I want to see action instead. I’m mad, which is good for me. I work best when I’m mad or enlightened about something. I’m right at that point of seeking life-changing answers.

This all started when I saw another orthopedic surgeon at St. Joseph’s Medical Center about two weeks ago. A long story short, there seemed to be some indication that this condition (even my neuro-muscular structure) was genetic. It was not verified or confirmed, but mentioned,

The reason why this is so important to me is because I would like some DNA testing to be done. I did speak to another doctor (OB/GYN) today about it. I can have medicare pay for it, due to the rarity of my medical condition.  I need to do some research before seeking DNA testing. What would it entail? Blood tests or DNA strands tested. My sisters asked me that today, but I have no medical knowledge or awareness yet.

On the subject of DNA testing, I did speak to my parents today about it. I am their child and they should be consulted about it. My mother seemed more agreeable than I originally thought she would be. She said she didn’t feel guilt, although I never put blame on my parents for anything. I want to know if my medical condition of a rare autoimmune disorder is heredity through a recessive gene or is it structured in my DNA as a carrier?

I don’t want my relatives, especially my sisters, mad at me or the family embarrassed in anytway. It is not to offend or hurt anyone. It is within my God-given rights and I have that right to know. If you can’t acccept this, don’t read this blog. But please don’t preach to me or tell me that I’m hurting my parents.

As far as God, He has always been here. He is just been talking strongly to me recently. These are things that I should have done years ago. I just wasn’t as pushed as I am not.