Stumbling Blocks – Fractured Ego

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Blogging, Media, Networking, Reflection, Social Media

The last few months have been eventful, to say the least. I find myself quite elated, yet, cautious at the same time. My new infusions have brought my autoimmune disease “under control” this year. My neurologist is pleased with my progress there. I will be seeing an orthopaedic physical evaluation specialist within two weeks for botox treatments on my feet and ankles. I’m hoping treatments will improve my mobility issues. In addition, I will be seeing an orthopaedic surgeon specialist next month to evaluate my feet to see if I am even eligible for foot/ankle surgery on both feet. Past visits with specialists have revealed no solutions, as the neuro-muscular problems lied in the autoimmune condition itself.

Two weeks ago, I slipped and fell hard on my left side. After several agonizing nights, I went to urgent care. The medical doctor sent me to the hospital to get chest x-rays. They didn’t have the facility to x-ray my type of injury, as I couldn’t stand without support. A trip to the emergency room saw me several hours under a morphine iv-drip. My x-rays came back conclusive. I had four fractured ribs. They were all the middle (5 through 9) ribs and in back. Ouch! I have never cracked a rib before, much less four in a row. No wonder I was in pain!

While reading the Bible and mediating, I pondered on a Bible verse of a book, Jesus Calling*, my sister Janice had given me to read. Who knew that such a little book would have so much impact on me! It was meant to be given to me. I’m 100% certain about that now. Then the Lord spoke to me. “You can not solve your problems alone; let Me intervene and be the Healer.” I prayed that day and repented to release these burdens “stressors” off me. That I had a great deal of anxiety and stress already and I needed resolution in my heart.

The mistake that I made was that I tried to resolve the problems myself, but I couldn’t. I’m neither strong enough physically or emotionally to resist any stress coming my way.  I allowed it inside me and it upset me. My psychological ego “fractured ego” got in the way of healing as well. From Hebrews 11:6; John 4:23-24, I was allowing those thoughts damper my relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember, in my previous post, I said God is a jealous God. He wants everyone to focus their eyes on Him and not to please others. That is not easy for me. I’m a people-person and do not like or want to hurt others’ feelings.

Within days, I have never had such peace of mind. It is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m not just writing about this, but I feel it in my heart. I was experiencing a spiritual warfare. One that could have very well gone the other way, but God won in the end. He is magnificent. I was weak due to medical and physical health issues. I was weakening, but God is the source. Jesus Christ can see us through anything and remove those roadblocks, if we allow Him to enter our hearts.

I’ve been enduring continuous treatments/infusions and procedures for several years. My journey seems endless, at this point. But I feel assured that Jesus Christ will get me through these “stumbling blocks” along the way. I ask Him to remove the blocks, that I can not do it on my own. I’m progressing in areas of science that were merely ideas seven to eight years ago. I see myself being well: healthy, full of energy and vigor, and walking. Yes, I said walking. I know it is just a matter of time.

*Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace in His Presence, by Sarah Young.  Daily devotions for every day of the year.

 

 

Keto and Intermittent Fasting Diet

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Blogging, Connecting, Inspirational, Media, Networking, Reflection, Social Media

I was introduced to a new health diet early last month. It was a concept by Dr. Eric Berg to reverse autoimmune diseases. Some might be familiar with the Keto and Intermittent Fasting diet. Both are important facets of the diet. It is designed on consuming high fats, low carbs and no sugars or grains. Dr. Berg’s concept is that the body will start attacking the animal fat cells instead of one’s own cells. It is a process of decoying the body’s own defenses.

My sister Janice has been sending me links of videos on Youtube from Dr. Eric Berg. He is known internationally for his concept of Ketosis and the adrenal glands of the liver. He talks about high insulin levels around the stomach and how it relates to belly fat. That is my problem area too, especially my sides. You can find information on the Keto and Intermittent Fasting diet by clicking https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3w193M5tYPJqF0Hi-7U-2g

FYI, I have lost several pounds within two months, ever since beginning the diet. It is not only designed for autoimmune disorders, it is for those that have other medical conditions (e.g., cancer, arthritis, kidney, thyroid, heart) or want to lose excess weight. I’m not advocating to try the Keto diet. I’m not a medical doctor nor can I give medical advice. I only know how it makes me feel – better and more energy. I usually fast 15 to 18 hours three to four days per week for the autoimmune illness. I never go past 20 hours fasting at one time, although I might try it soon. You can have some liquids during this fasting time (e.g., black coffee, tea, water, bone broth or unsweetened almond milk). The longer the body does fast without food, the more the body begins to heal itself.

DETOX: Dr. Berg recommends detoxifying the body of impurities and toxins daily. It also hastens the healing process and promotes weight loss as you diet. His focus goes for a 21-day cycle, however, I do it daily. There is a mixture of one glass water (filtered or tap), one tbsp apple cider vinegar and one tbsp lemon juice to drink three times a day.

FOODS TO AVOID: While enjoying various foods, there are foods high in carbs and sugar to avoid, such as bananas, kiwi, apples, pineapple, and peaches. For a list of restricted foods, please see the 14 worst foods to eat on a Ketogenic-diet at http://health.facty.com/food/nutrition/the-14-worst-foods-to-eat-on-a-ketogenic-diet/

Dr. Eric Berg also has a pamphlet that explains the dos and don’ts while on the Ketosis diet. Amazon offers Kindle as well. Please see https://shop.drberg.com/checkout/cart/ for any questions you might have.

Plus, Dr. Berg offers many products on his website to take daily. I especially like the nutritional yeast (powder). It comes in two forms: pills and powder. I am allergic to pill form and the powder tastes just like cheese. It takes two tbsp a day sprinkled on food or mixed in a drink and it also helps headaches. Two more supplements I take is Keto MCT Oil Powder – available unflavored, vanilla and chocolate. I love the chocolate – tastes just like cocoa. One big scoop is good with a eight-ounce glass of almond milk. It is delicious. Also, I take Electrolytes with MCT daily. It comes unflavored and one small scoop taken per meal.

Please be advised that the weight will take time to gradually come off. But it will eventually start coming off. Mine started around 4 weeks and now at my sixth week, I am really starting to lose weight. Be patient with it and yourself. You want to lose weight slowly instead of fast to prevent sudden (quirks) weight gain.

Several months ago, I weighed 145 pounds. I went down to 137 to 139 pounds a few months ago. Getting on the weight scales this morning, I weighed 129 pounds. I will continue to lose a few more pounds to cushion myself and then maintain a balanced diet. It is a lifechange and a lifestyle diet, not just a temporary diet. It is not designed for quick fixes, like losing weight for a class reunion or a social event. I’m on the diet not only for health reasons, but to save my life. I’m fighting for my life and to become healthy.

There’s Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

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Blogging

Time itself seems to stand still. I feel daily challenges and experiences lead to two things: they can either hurt you or help you. My journey in life in chronic illness started eight years ago. Sometimes I wonder how I ever kept my sanity through the cycle. During this past month, especially this past week, I have been talking to God and realize I’m not in a good place. I need to cleanup somethings in my past and in my present. I lead a stressful life already and there were somethings very stressful interfering with my life. Things I didn’t want or need in my life, but I didn’t feel I had the strength or readiness to deal with them until now.

But I give no excuses, they were things I did to myself. I had “road blockers” that distracted me from doing what I was meant to be doing, what I was purposely supposed to be doing. I haven’t worked on my latest manuscript for a couple of months or wrote. It is time to put worldly “mundane” things to the curb and get on with life. Today, I attempted to get rid of some of those “stressors” and say “Amen” to that.

For the first time over the last few months, I feel I need to do what’s right in my heart, not my mind. God has really been working on me. He wants a relationship, but he is a jealous God. He wants me to concentrate on Him, not external forces. I failed to put my concentration on Him. But He is a loving God too.

And, yet, I have come to understand that what has been delaying me and blinding me is fear itself – it’s my own fears and insecurities that blocked me from moving forward in my own life. I have periods of darkness, of depression from chronic illness, of denial from disappointment or rejection over the years. It sounds like a broken record, but I was at my wit’s ends. I was to the point of succumbing to the disease handed me. It seemed nothing was working. The treatments were making me ill and feeling worse. I was over-medicated and home bound. My quality of life had the beginning of being very poor. I was almost bed-ridden, couldn’t get out of bed some days and felt awful. My hands shook badly often. I was a walking time bomb, about to explode!

We are all fearful of failure to some degree. But mine were deeply rooted as a child. Born with muscular weakness in both legs and feet, I had multiple painful surgeries as a child. I struggled to walk as normal healthy children did. I spent many summers hospitalized in leg casts and pain. Some would describe it as bone deformities at birth, while some describe it as hip dysplasia, where the hips dislocate from their sockets. Others describe it sort of like cerebral palsy, a permanent birth injury that penetrated the neuromuscular regions of the body.  In actuality, my parents told me that the doctor that treated me at infancy through childhood and adolescence, said I had no signs and symptoms of  one actual disease. Yet, the walking and mobility problems remained.

I did get better and I continued to improve until I walked fine (well, almost normally). But, in the back of my mind, other children laughed and made fun of me, as I walked. Until I was eight years old, I wore big white orthopaedic shoes, which I was ashamed to wear out in public. They looked like big baby shoes. Coming home from public school, crying to my parents that others were looking at my feet strange, I had surgery on my right foot (ankle extension) in June, the month before my eighth birthday. Again, another surgery on both feet (this time) in June, before my tenth birthday. Surgery had to be done when I was out of school for the summer and when the surgeon was available.

When I was a freshman in high school at 14, I fell somehow and broke a bone in my left knee. I had to stay out of physical education all during my sophomore year of high school. At 15, I had surgery again in June. I also had ankle surgery on my right foot. Don’t get me wrong; it was all painful. I had to wear a splint on my left leg for nearly two months and a cast on my right foot at the same time.

Last week, I got away for nearly a week. I desperately needed a break; a break from ordinary life and to reconnect with God. I was in a safe getaway, a place where I found comfort and safety for a while. During that time, I fell and broke four ribs on my left side. Now, I’m in constant pain. I’m more irritable and moody due to pain and inflammation. It has been very painful, at the least.

The positive side of this story is that I’m starting to make progress in the disease. Receiving botox treatments on my feet and ankles next month, looking into possible surgery for feet and seeing a surgeon next month also. The wheels are spinning in motion. I’m also going to a specialist next month for the fractured ribs.

Please note that I’m not asking for sympathy or prayers. It saddens me that people can only say that they will “pray” for me. I need more than that. I want to get my story out to others, to let them know there is hope and that God is a great Healer. Pity, especially self-pity, doesn’t help anyone, especially me. If you want to pray for me, please say in unspoken words. I would feel better and more comfortable with that. I have remained strong emotionally and mentally over the years. You have to be strong to be a survivor. I’m proud to say I am one. I survived breast cancer eight years ago and I will survive this. And, yes, I do have faith. Faith to be healed and well someday….