It is a rainy and cloudy Easter Sunday. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. The grounds are wet, yet a day to celebrate the holiday. Hopefully, it will wash some of this pollen away. Yesterday, the book sale went well and smooth. There was slight rain in the late afternoon, but overall a good day. I enjoyed my uncle’s company. He is always one to make me feel better, like my own father. My uncle has an impressive history of writing, artworks, dancing, musical and multi-talented in many areas. Thanks to David, the store clerk, that made me laugh and smile yesterday.
Truthfully, I felt at odds yesterday. I had called a close relative (I refer to her) yesterday morning to get help for my aging father. He is a little overwhelmed at this time as my mother is physically ill right now. An all too real conclusion that one’s parents don’t live forever. We, as human beings, are all aging and will pass this earth someday. We are not eternal and our bodies are not made to live forever. We are not machines; our bodies just weren’t designed for that.
I felt like I was being challenged yesterday. Instead of trying to help my parents, I felt I was thrown under a bus (not literally). This relative said hurtful and mean things, as she has done before in the past. It really started a few months ago when my parents had a flat tire on their car. It was stupid, an accident, and could have been avoided, but the sparks have escalated. After a few minutes of talking about our mother, the conversation led to I have a “book that wouldn’t sell.” Ouch! I have written several books so I don’t know which one she is referring to. The other thing was coming away with a very negative feeling. I have always tried to stay positive, even in more challenging times.
I want to tell her (as well as others) that you didn’t kill my spirit. I have felt all my life that people have tried to kill my spirit – happiness that is. Well, it didn’t work. I felt bad for her when I left home, but my heart told me differently. Something inside told me it was going to be okay and I did nothing wrong. I had this book sale scheduled for two weeks and posted in the local newspaper. I wanted to tell her to go jump in the lake yesterday, but I didn’t. Instead, I told her I was hanging up the phone. She says things that she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But more than that, it is none of her business.
You can’t go through life feeling so negative about things all the time. It will drive you crazy and miserable. I always felt she to be a sweet and loving person. I didn’t feel that way yesterday; quite the opposite. I didn’t feel her Christian love either. I didn’t feel support from her and actually felt rejected. I guess it did hurt my feelings. She needs to understand something. Life has its ups and downs. Learning how to cope with those extremes is the tool to happiness. There will always be stressful moments for everyone in life. The real test is not putting oneself in those situations in the first place.
I think if we are doing our best in life, that is the key to restoration in our hearts. Always strive to be happy in life. A high school student told me that one time. Learn to reach for God’s peace and love. Smile, even though you don’t feel like smiling. If stressed, seek guidance through His word. Don’t preach to others, but live through Him. In other words, practice what you preach. If I don’t feel or see it in you, how can I believe you? Remember, sometimes you can’t take back what you say. A lesson learned many years ago. If you are learning with experience, than you have done well.
As far as my writing, I put my frustrations and challenges into my writing. It is therapy for me in so many ways. I write for enjoyment, not for the money or how many books I sell. It should always be for the enjoyment and fun, otherwise it becomes a chore. We are always presented with challenges in life. Mine seem to be medical and physical. I have always had medical challenges in life. I have become disabled over the past five to six years through autoimmune complications, but I do not let it get me down. Instead, I write rather than sit in self-pity.
The other lesson is not to cross me or you will be written about. (just kidding) Seriously, yesterday I was very angry and pissed off, but today I am okay. I am a bit overly sensitive due to my background. Stay cool everyone and have a blessed Easter Sunday.