I have seen both good and bad things happen in my life. I have to stop and wonder where is God’s touch in all of this. I have been undergoing a 21-day detox not in my body, but in my mind and in my brain. The toxicity of negative events (divorce, bad relationships, childhood trauma) in my life clouded my brain. I could not get past the negativity. I believe most people do the best they can. Sometimes due to external pressures, our life does not always go as we wanted or intended. We present problems that just aren’t there and conflicts get in the way of our thinking. I hold steadfast to this belief and feel that at times, our ‘selves’ are our own worse enemy.
Today, while getting a routine evaluation in physical therapy, I found my legs getting to be a little stronger. Anyone familiar with autoimmune diseases, such as Multiple Sclerosis (MS), knows it affects the muscles and surrounding tissue. I have Lambert-Eaton Myasthenia Syndrome (LEMS), which mimics MS in many ways. It is believed I developed it through breast cancer several years ago. If you have ever seen a person with MS walk, the muscles are severely debilitated and crippled. There is joint pain and extreme weakness. The same goes for walking up stairs and sitting for prolonged periods of time. Being afflicted with this condition for more than six years, I find myself becoming weaker in time, especially in the ankles and feet. Today was a celebration when I realized my legs were a little stronger – an ultimate revelation.
The same regards to my published books and writing. I have tried over a year to get into the artists’ walk around the square in town. Last week, I got an invitation to apply to participate in this year’s coming event. It may not be an universal acknowledgment, but it is baby steps. I was at least acknowledged. To me, it is a giant step towards being noted as a local artist. My artwork is finally being recognized by others. I have found in this world that it takes more than pure talent, more than ambition or determination; it takes people that notice your efforts. In the past, I always thought that famous people and writers made it on fate or destiny. I think they made it because they were fortunate enough that people noticed their work. I stand strong to this belief and feel my day is finally coming. God is good and working in this area of my life.
More importantly, I feel God is working through several avenues in my life. He is not only healing me physically gradually, he is working through other channels. I feel that God is working through changing those ‘negative’ feelings I’ve had for so long. It is about detoxing that negativity in one’s thoughts. Medical science doesn’t believe this disease can be reversed or cured, just as there is no cure or reversal for cancer. But I am also standing strong against such ideologies – I am believing in faith and in hope. When physicians and specialists tell you they have done so much, then there is no stronger word to stand on then the Word of God. He is all powerful and merciful. I have seen just the beginning of His power as I continue down this 21-day journey. Their will be more to come
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