God Promises

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Blogging, Creativity, Inspirational, Media, Poetry, Reflection, Social Media, Spiritual, Writing

God promises to give me strong

legs to run,

To restore my muscles in my

feet to walk,

To give me the endurance

to stand,

To give me strength in

mind, body, and soul,

To give me the stamina to go on.

He promises a total restoration of

health and well-being,

and bestow many blessings upon me.

How do I know this?

Because God promises these

things all to me,

He loves me so.

God promises a reflection of hope,

grace and faith,

Jesus Christ is real,

True and magnificent.

Through Him, there is

anything possible.

I walk by sight,

Not by ignorance,

I see His glory in everything.

In this old world,

we tend to live through

our own fears and doubts.

Do not be deceived,

Do not walk in darkness,

As the rest of the world,

Do not take on problems

of the modern world,

But look upward,

Toward heaven to Jesus

and God’s promises.

Recognizing Denial

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Blogging, Connecting, Inspirational, Media, Networking, Reflection, Social Media

A few weeks ago, I watched a program on the Dr. Phil show. It presented Sarah Jakes, who is the daughter of T.D. Jakes, one of America’s most beloved ministers to hit the media. At 13 years of age, she became pregnant and became a mother by age 14. She went on to have the baby, graduate from high school, and be accepted into college. However, at 19, she dropped out of college and started to dance nude at a local nightclub. Sarah claimed she had very low self-esteem when younger and any attention was better than no attention at all, no matter how degrading or offensive to her.

This show was meant for me. In fact, it is freeing after over 40 years. I too had very low self-esteem as a young teenager. Making good grades in middle school (practically straight A’s in every subject), my grades started to decline in highschool. What was worse than poor grades, were my parents’ attitude toward me. When I was 13 years of age, I was approached and sexually molested by a family member (not blood-related). My parents tried to keep it quiet and conceal it from the public, but I was psychologically damaged.

Once I told my parents what happened, the response I got was repulsive. “We stopped it,” was the response. The person who victimized me told my mother it was my imagination as if I made up the whole thing. But I did not, and I have a witness to it.

I didn’t get pregnant nor have a baby. Neither did I drop out of college nor dance nude in a nightclub. I did suffer internally for years, sought professional counseling, and even dated and married an attorney. But truth be known, the psychological damage traveled to my marriage. It caused problems with me and my husband. One reason I am divorced today with no children.

I believe I majored in Abnormal Psychology in college to better understand myself and what I was going through at the time. No wonder my self-esteem was so low. I felt like crap. Adults have a hard enough time with sex. Just think about children. They don’t have the maturity or mental capacity to understand fully what is going on, although children are expected to act appropriately.

When your children speak to you, please listen. Don’t shovel it under the rug, as if to hide it. You are only hurting your child more. Be a protective parent. It happened, but I can not change the past. I can only be aware that it does exist and in wonderful families too.

A Moment of Prayer

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Blogging, Connecting, Inspirational, Reflection

My mother was a private person. She would not like this post. But she lived an exemplary life. Her journey came to an end on March 23, 2020, after suffering from a heart attack and internal bleeding. Our family buried her on March 28. Mom taught gifted children in public schools and was extremely smart. Mom was a beautiful lady with a loving kind heart. She always did for her family, spouse, and children. She will be missed.

Today, a second cousin was buried after contracting the coronavirus and passed on April 10. He was of great intellect and a writer as well. His book was translated into German, as well as English. He taught American students of military families while living in Germany. He had served in the American Army in Germany for two years.

During this COVID-19 crisis, we are experiencing social distancing and staying at home. There is a lot less social interaction than usual. But I feel it is a time for prayers and to thank our blessings for what we have. I have much to be thankful for, a wonderful family and others who always lend a helping hand. People have been very kind, dropping off meals at the house and being quite helpful.

More specifically, it enlightens my heart that others are generous, even in challenging times. Please take a moment to say a prayer for all those dealing with the devastation of the coronavirus. Not just for the individuals lost, but for the families dealing with grief and sorrow. These are unusual times, but we can cope by helping each other.

God Bless you and your family. Please stay healthy and safe.

Surgery Date Finally Set

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Blogging, Inspirational, Media, Networking, Reflection

My surgery date has finally been scheduled – July 18th. I was getting a little discouraged, thinking the doctor’s office would never call. It only took four months (being sarcastic), but as long as it’s scheduled, that is fine. I will be having a lesser surgery. No ankle surgery, but splicing the tendon to release tension in the foot. I hope it helps to alleviate the pain I’ve been having in my left foot and left knee. I will be hospitalized and then going into rehab afterward. I will be having a pre-surgery consultation at the surgeon’s office and the hospital on July 1st. I have awaited this surgery for a long time. Please remember me in your prayers.

Has God Given His Final Word?

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Blogging, Inspirational, Networking, Reflection, Spiritual

I was all set to have foot surgery on June 5th. This has been coming for a long time. Hindsight told me that I should of had this several years ago, but didn’t. When I went into see the surgeon last Friday for a pre-surgical consultation, I was hit with a surprise. He said he had bad news for me. He explained that major surgery would be too risky for me. He wasn’t going to do the surgery at all. After a disappointing answer, I felt like I was going to cry. When I told him that my left foot continues in pain when I stand or walk on it, he reluctantly seemed genial to do a lesser procedure. He would not touch the ankle or the toes, but transport the tight tendon putting pressure on my foot. I’m literally walking on the side of my left foot because its too painful to walk on it.

Why would the surgeon have a tentative surgery date scheduled and then cancel it? Only God knows the correct answer to this question. I’m as baffled as you are. When I asked the surgery scheduler, she said that the doctor was worried about recovery time. The surgeon must have talked to my neurologist at Emory. He brought up that major surgery could make my condition worse and cause problems. Plus, the time under general anesthesia was questionable. It is advisable not to use certain drugs with LEMS. Surely, I’m not the first person with an autoimmune condition to come through his office. On the last visit before last Friday, the doctor said he had other complicated cases. Last Friday, he said I was very complicated and very high risk for that type surgery.

I’m stumped, but I know my sisters have been praying that if it isn’t God’s will, surgery would be stopped. I guess this is God’s way of say “no, not this time.” Hopefully, my condition will improve overtime. I’ve been dealing with this almost nine years. It gets old and one loses hope as time goes on. The constant infusions I wish would go away, but it’s understandable that keeps one healthy. I feel the infusions deplete me. Is it possible to find an alternative treatment? I keep praying that God will show His glory, His mercy and fill me with His Holy Spirit. I accept my fate, but I feel I need to concentrate on what I can do, not what I can’t do. Everyone handicaps me. They mean well and are just helping, but I feel I’m enabled physically. I want to say to others, “Please don’t help me unless I ask for help. I was born with a brain; I can use it.”

Other than that, I’m praying for my niece on Tuesday, who will give birth to her baby daughter. Let her get through delivery safely for her and the baby. We need more girls in the family. So far, boys have dominated in my parents’ great-grandchildren’s department. I pray for my parents. I pray for peace and contentment with family members and close friends. God Bless You as each and everyone of you go through another week. May God shed His grace on thee.

I Never Said I Didn’t like God

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Blogging, Creativity, Inspirational, Networking, Reflection, Social Media, Writing

The other day, I was having a discussion with my sister. Somehow the conversation turned that I was mad at God. I didn’t say that nor meant to imply that. I do like God. In fact, I love Him. I believe I am a very intelligent person, but I put my foot in my mouth at times. On the other hand, I am also a very talented person, but seem to have problems with explaining myself. This is especially true with family members. This seems to be an emotional and stressful week for us.

I feel when there is nothing else to say, that is the time to be silent. Silence is “golden” is the rule here. After all is said and done, no one comes out the winner. How do you win a losing battle? But I do love my family. Their opinions are just that – their opinions. I respect their opinions; they need to respect mine.

This disagreement started last year with some family problems at home. The discussion led to a book I had written in the past. One family member thought the book represented an anti-God image. What it represented was the culture of Egypt and their customs. I wrote on their history, their food and their culture. There was a story too, but fictious. There was a dream denoting some dark feelings, but that was conducive to the story. The main character finds herself in a state of uncertainty until the truth is revealed in the story. It is discovered that she suffers from Lupus, an autoimmune disease. I write about the similarities with my medical condition.

However, what family members don’t realize is that I sell books that way. My books contain action, suspense and mystery. I write historical novels, fictious and created to inspire the imagination of others. That is what I write on. I like to motivate and inspire people. I am not a spiritual writer. I feel if family members want a book written on Christian “pure” ethics, they need to write a book themselves. I feel their narrowmindedness lacks the understanding to open their minds to creativity and artistic values.

While I do believe in Christ, I feel He is all around us. I feel His love and His power. I do worship Christ. I am not a fanatic; I don’t read the Bible 24 hours a day. But I do express my Christian beliefs and values through love and understanding. I feel He has brought me to write for many reasons, all good reasons. I won’t apologize for writing what I enjoy.  I will continue to write as it brings me happiness and purpose in life.

 

Speaker at Cobb County/Metro Atlanta Teachers’ Retirement Program

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Authors, Blogging, Books, Inspirational, Media, Social Media, Writers, Writing

As a retired teacher, I spoke to other retired teachers today. After the luncheon, there was a presentation of authors and then some book signing by authors. I was one of four authors to speak in the area. I went first. Good to do that. People generally remember the first and last speaker. You usually lose your nerve if you have to sit there and think about it.

I thought it went well. I got through the speech. There were some sober moments. An emotional flow of words, mixed in with highs and lows. But the most tortuous part was telling my story of how I got here, how I was inspired and who inspired me through life. My words spoke truth through my tears, my heart and my inner soul. I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

I just got a call from a traditional publisher about radio interviewing. True, I want to get radio interviews scheduled. I do need a way for a publisher to sponsor me. My dilemma is my medical condition, but I would like to start scheduling in the area if I could. If there are any sponsors in the metro-Atlanta area, please contact me. My trouble would be transportation outside the Atlanta area.

I’m starting to feel a little better this week. Going to Augusta to see my neurologist there on April 16. This is my last visit in the study and then every six months thereafter, if I wish to continue seeing Dr. Rivner. I prefer to keep seeing him. He has been a very helpful and knowledgeable source of information when I had no where else to turn.

Back to real life, my home physical therapist is coming tomorrow morning. I delayed occupational therapy this week due to my rigid schedule. Maybe a way to extend my physical therapy. The work over these last few weeks seemed to have help limber me up a little. I’m still stiff, but at least, I can walk across the floor now.

Good Things Happen to Good People

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Blogging, Inspirational, Reflection

It has been a remarkable week. First, my father is building up his strength after suffering a stroke in the early part of December. His several weeks of recouping from his illness have gone well. Truthfully, it will take months for him to recover for a man at his age. My brother-in-law had two surgeries this past week. According to my sister, he is doing all right, just in pain right now. My mother has healed from a broken hand and my fractured ribs have mended over the last few months.

I have been looking for transportation to Emory whenever my sisters can’t take me. It is a lot to ask them and interrupt their schedules; however, I’m getting where I’m afraid to drive to Atlanta now. I found someone this past week and it is a blessing. The charges are very reasonable and she lives close by. More importantly, God provides our needs if we ask Him. In addition, on Friday I was approved home visits for infusions. It couldn’t have come at a better time. The doctor is increasing my treatments next month. The IV-Gs will be added two days monthly, as well as continuing chemotherapy for the autoimmune condition.

There are ups and downs with a chronic illness. I realized that I used to identify with the disease, but I’m working on changing that. It was my ego getting in the way. I was in a dark place. I didn’t want to get out around others or socialize for awhile. My health had worsened this past year. I was getting weaker and very depressed, as I was getting more home-bound and bedridden. My quality of life was getting very poor, but the good thing is that I still maintain hope and optimism.

I find encouragement and balance through my writing. It is therapy to me. It gets me out of my depressive state. People don’t seem to understand that it is my livelihood, my passion toward life. Sometimes, I feel discouraged by others’ comments, especially when they tell me to stop publishing books because of printing costs. When I received the derogatory remark about my books a few weeks ago, it first pierced my heart. In retrospect, it helped in publicizing my books on social media. So the person actually helped me instead of harming me. A good lesson to learn.

I hold on to faith. It is easier to give up and let this disease take over my body without treatments. A decision I was thinking about at one time. But I still resist; I still fight for life. I believe God has plans for me. If it to only encourage and inspire others, then so be it. I am amazed by His everlasting love and wisdom. I’m beginning to understand more of myself. God is good and with Him beside me, I feel comfort and determination.

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas

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Blogging, Inspirational, Spiritual

I have been amiss for a couple of months, I admit. This has been a weird month with many events. They say everything comes in threes. I can tell you that is more true than imagined.

After a fall that left me with four fractured ribs in mid-October, I recovered almost fully. A lot less painful. It is as if no injury occurred at  all. Last month, my mother fell and broke her hand in two places. She is doing better, but her hand is still a little painful at times. Can these falls and family health problems be coincidental? Clearly, our family has had their share of health issues this season.

My father entered the hospital the end of November, with mild pneumonia and fluid around his heart. Three days later, he suffered a stroke by a blood clot that traveled to his brain. The surgeon removed the blood clot and my father seemed to be recovering well. His speech was a little slurred at first, but after surgery, he started to regain his speech and is doing better. Thank God he is not paralyzed. One saving grace of his illness and the fact that he is still alive.

He still has a way to go, as his heart is still weak. His body is weak, yet, he stands as a testimony of faith and hope. His courage to persist with daily challenges. I am proud of my father for his determination. If a 92-year-old man is determined to live and regain strength from a weakened state, just think what others can do.  It gives me hope to go on, to continue to fight my health issues.

More importantly, remembering that today is the Lord’s day – the reason for this Christmas day. May we always remember this date as a day to share with loved ones, to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. He is our savior and lives within our hearts.

I saw goodness today with family and loved ones. It was more than goodness, it is love. Enjoy each day as today and forgive those that have wronged us. Sometimes that is easier said than done, but with God’s help, we can continue in peace and harmony. Staying strong in His word is the key to successful living.

Merry Christmas and wishing everyone a Happy New Year! Here’s wishing best wishes that 2019 is even better than 2018.

Keto and Intermittent Fasting Diet

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Blogging, Connecting, Inspirational, Media, Networking, Reflection, Social Media

I was introduced to a new health diet early last month. It was a concept by Dr. Eric Berg to reverse autoimmune diseases. Some might be familiar with the Keto and Intermittent Fasting diet. Both are important facets of the diet. It is designed on consuming high fats, low carbs and no sugars or grains. Dr. Berg’s concept is that the body will start attacking the animal fat cells instead of one’s own cells. It is a process of decoying the body’s own defenses.

My sister Janice has been sending me links of videos on Youtube from Dr. Eric Berg. He is known internationally for his concept of Ketosis and the adrenal glands of the liver. He talks about high insulin levels around the stomach and how it relates to belly fat. That is my problem area too, especially my sides. You can find information on the Keto and Intermittent Fasting diet by clicking https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3w193M5tYPJqF0Hi-7U-2g

FYI, I have lost several pounds within two months, ever since beginning the diet. It is not only designed for autoimmune disorders, it is for those that have other medical conditions (e.g., cancer, arthritis, kidney, thyroid, heart) or want to lose excess weight. I’m not advocating to try the Keto diet. I’m not a medical doctor nor can I give medical advice. I only know how it makes me feel – better and more energy. I usually fast 15 to 18 hours three to four days per week for the autoimmune illness. I never go past 20 hours fasting at one time, although I might try it soon. You can have some liquids during this fasting time (e.g., black coffee, tea, water, bone broth or unsweetened almond milk). The longer the body does fast without food, the more the body begins to heal itself.

DETOX: Dr. Berg recommends detoxifying the body of impurities and toxins daily. It also hastens the healing process and promotes weight loss as you diet. His focus goes for a 21-day cycle, however, I do it daily. There is a mixture of one glass water (filtered or tap), one tbsp apple cider vinegar and one tbsp lemon juice to drink three times a day.

FOODS TO AVOID: While enjoying various foods, there are foods high in carbs and sugar to avoid, such as bananas, kiwi, apples, pineapple, and peaches. For a list of restricted foods, please see the 14 worst foods to eat on a Ketogenic-diet at http://health.facty.com/food/nutrition/the-14-worst-foods-to-eat-on-a-ketogenic-diet/

Dr. Eric Berg also has a pamphlet that explains the dos and don’ts while on the Ketosis diet. Amazon offers Kindle as well. Please see https://shop.drberg.com/checkout/cart/ for any questions you might have.

Plus, Dr. Berg offers many products on his website to take daily. I especially like the nutritional yeast (powder). It comes in two forms: pills and powder. I am allergic to pill form and the powder tastes just like cheese. It takes two tbsp a day sprinkled on food or mixed in a drink and it also helps headaches. Two more supplements I take is Keto MCT Oil Powder – available unflavored, vanilla and chocolate. I love the chocolate – tastes just like cocoa. One big scoop is good with a eight-ounce glass of almond milk. It is delicious. Also, I take Electrolytes with MCT daily. It comes unflavored and one small scoop taken per meal.

Please be advised that the weight will take time to gradually come off. But it will eventually start coming off. Mine started around 4 weeks and now at my sixth week, I am really starting to lose weight. Be patient with it and yourself. You want to lose weight slowly instead of fast to prevent sudden (quirks) weight gain.

Several months ago, I weighed 145 pounds. I went down to 137 to 139 pounds a few months ago. Getting on the weight scales this morning, I weighed 129 pounds. I will continue to lose a few more pounds to cushion myself and then maintain a balanced diet. It is a lifechange and a lifestyle diet, not just a temporary diet. It is not designed for quick fixes, like losing weight for a class reunion or a social event. I’m on the diet not only for health reasons, but to save my life. I’m fighting for my life and to become healthy.