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I was all set to have foot surgery on June 5th. This has been coming for a long time. Hindsight told me that I should of had this several years ago, but didn’t. When I went into see the surgeon last Friday for a pre-surgical consultation, I was hit with a surprise. He said he had bad news for me. He explained that major surgery would be too risky for me. He wasn’t going to do the surgery at all. After a disappointing answer, I felt like I was going to cry. When I told him that my left foot continues in pain when I stand or walk on it, he reluctantly seemed genial to do a lesser procedure. He would not touch the ankle or the toes, but transport the tight tendon putting pressure on my foot. I’m literally walking on the side of my left foot because its too painful to walk on it.

Why would the surgeon have a tentative surgery date scheduled and then cancel it? Only God knows the correct answer to this question. I’m as baffled as you are. When I asked the surgery scheduler, she said that the doctor was worried about recovery time. The surgeon must have talked to my neurologist at Emory. He brought up that major surgery could make my condition worse and cause problems. Plus, the time under general anesthesia was questionable. It is advisable not to use certain drugs with LEMS. Surely, I’m not the first person with an autoimmune condition to come through his office. On the last visit before last Friday, the doctor said he had other complicated cases. Last Friday, he said I was very complicated and very high risk for that type surgery.

I’m stumped, but I know my sisters have been praying that if it isn’t God’s will, surgery would be stopped. I guess this is God’s way of say “no, not this time.” Hopefully, my condition will improve overtime. I’ve been dealing with this almost nine years. It gets old and one loses hope as time goes on. The constant infusions I wish would go away, but it’s understandable that keeps one healthy. I feel the infusions deplete me. Is it possible to find an alternative treatment? I keep praying that God will show His glory, His mercy and fill me with His Holy Spirit. I accept my fate, but I feel I need to concentrate on what I can do, not what I can’t do. Everyone handicaps me. They mean well and are just helping, but I feel I’m enabled physically. I want to say to others, “Please don’t help me unless I ask for help. I was born with a brain; I can use it.”

Other than that, I’m praying for my niece on Tuesday, who will give birth to her baby daughter. Let her get through delivery safely for her and the baby. We need more girls in the family. So far, boys have dominated in my parents’ great-grandchildren’s department. I pray for my parents. I pray for peace and contentment with family members and close friends. God Bless You as each and everyone of you go through another week. May God shed His grace on thee.