The last few months have been eventful, to say the least. I find myself quite elated, yet, cautious at the same time. My new infusions have brought my autoimmune disease “under control” this year. My neurologist is pleased with my progress there. I will be seeing an orthopaedic physical evaluation specialist within two weeks for botox treatments on my feet and ankles. I’m hoping treatments will improve my mobility issues. In addition, I will be seeing an orthopaedic surgeon specialist next month to evaluate my feet to see if I am even eligible for foot/ankle surgery on both feet. Past visits with specialists have revealed no solutions, as the neuro-muscular problems lied in the autoimmune condition itself.
Two weeks ago, I slipped and fell hard on my left side. After several agonizing nights, I went to urgent care. The medical doctor sent me to the hospital to get chest x-rays. They didn’t have the facility to x-ray my type of injury, as I couldn’t stand without support. A trip to the emergency room saw me several hours under a morphine iv-drip. My x-rays came back conclusive. I had four fractured ribs. They were all the middle (5 through 9) ribs and in back. Ouch! I have never cracked a rib before, much less four in a row. No wonder I was in pain!
While reading the Bible and mediating, I pondered on a Bible verse of a book, Jesus Calling*, my sister Janice had given me to read. Who knew that such a little book would have so much impact on me! It was meant to be given to me. I’m 100% certain about that now. Then the Lord spoke to me. “You can not solve your problems alone; let Me intervene and be the Healer.” I prayed that day and repented to release these burdens “stressors” off me. That I had a great deal of anxiety and stress already and I needed resolution in my heart.
The mistake that I made was that I tried to resolve the problems myself, but I couldn’t. I’m neither strong enough physically or emotionally to resist any stress coming my way. I allowed it inside me and it upset me. My psychological ego “fractured ego” got in the way of healing as well. From Hebrews 11:6; John 4:23-24, I was allowing those thoughts damper my relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember, in my previous post, I said God is a jealous God. He wants everyone to focus their eyes on Him and not to please others. That is not easy for me. I’m a people-person and do not like or want to hurt others’ feelings.
Within days, I have never had such peace of mind. It is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m not just writing about this, but I feel it in my heart. I was experiencing a spiritual warfare. One that could have very well gone the other way, but God won in the end. He is magnificent. I was weak due to medical and physical health issues. I was weakening, but God is the source. Jesus Christ can see us through anything and remove those roadblocks, if we allow Him to enter our hearts.
I’ve been enduring continuous treatments/infusions and procedures for several years. My journey seems endless, at this point. But I feel assured that Jesus Christ will get me through these “stumbling blocks” along the way. I ask Him to remove the blocks, that I can not do it on my own. I’m progressing in areas of science that were merely ideas seven to eight years ago. I see myself being well: healthy, full of energy and vigor, and walking. Yes, I said walking. I know it is just a matter of time.
*Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace in His Presence, by Sarah Young. Daily devotions for every day of the year.