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I promised myself that when I finished my newest book, I would start blogging again. It has been several months since I last did. Through circumstances, I finally finished the manuscript yesterday. It was more difficult this time as my mind was cluttered with worry. My mother has been in and out of the hospital with heart trouble this year. Her latest admission was on Sunday. She is having heart surgery on Thursday. The doctor said she might come home on Friday, if all goes well.

I realize our parents can not live forever, nor anybody else for that matter. It is discouraging at best to think my mother is reaching her final days. We put animals out of their misery, but we can’t physically put people to sleep and out of their pain. I acknowledge that we are not machines – we can not reverse the aging process. We simply do the best we can. I hope my mother’s health improves and she is here on earth for years to come, but that may be unrealistic. I have seen my mother improve some, only to be in a bed of pain the next day.

Truth is, I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe the surgery will strengthen her heart some, but I have to be cautious too. My mother is strong internally; she can take anything, I feel. But can I? That is the million-dollar question.