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It is a rainy and cloudy Easter Sunday. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. The grounds are wet, yet a day to celebrate the holiday. Hopefully, it will wash some of this pollen away. Yesterday, the book sale went well and smooth. There was slight rain in the late afternoon, but overall a good day. I enjoyed my uncle’s company. He is always one to make me feel better, like my own father. My uncle has an impressive history of writing, artworks, dancing, musical and multi-talented in many areas. Thanks to David, the store clerk, that made me laugh and smile yesterday.
Truthfully, I felt at odds yesterday. I had called a close relative (I refer to her) yesterday morning to get help for my aging father. He is a little overwhelmed at this time as my mother is physically ill right now. An all too real conclusion that one’s parents don’t live forever. We, as human beings, are all aging and will pass this earth someday. We are not eternal and our bodies are not made to live forever. We are not machines; our bodies just weren’t designed for that.
I felt like I was being challenged yesterday. Instead of trying to help my parents, I felt I was thrown under a bus (not literally). This relative said hurtful and mean things, as she has done before in the past. It really started a few months ago when my parents had a flat tire on their car. It was stupid, an accident, and could have been avoided, but the sparks have escalated. After a few minutes of talking about our mother, the conversation led to I have a “book that wouldn’t sell.” Ouch! I have written several books so I don’t know which one she is referring to. The other thing was coming away with a very negative feeling. I have always tried to stay positive, even in more challenging times.
I want to tell her (as well as others) that you didn’t kill my spirit. I have felt all my life that people have tried to kill my spirit – happiness that is. Well, it didn’t work. I felt bad for her when I left home, but my heart told me differently. Something inside told me it was going to be okay and I did nothing wrong. I had this book sale scheduled for two weeks and posted in the local newspaper. I wanted to tell her to go jump in the lake yesterday, but I didn’t. Instead, I told her I was hanging up the phone. She says things that she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But more than that, it is none of her business.
You can’t go through life feeling so negative about things all the time. It will drive you crazy and miserable. I always felt she to be a sweet and loving person. I didn’t feel that way yesterday; quite the opposite. I didn’t feel her Christian love either. I didn’t feel support from her and actually felt rejected. I guess it did hurt my feelings. She needs to understand something. Life has its ups and downs. Learning how to cope with those extremes is the tool to happiness. There will always be stressful moments for everyone in life. The real test is not putting oneself in those situations in the first place.
I think if we are doing our best in life, that is the key to restoration in our hearts. Always strive to be happy in life. A high school student told me that one time. Learn to reach for God’s peace and love. Smile, even though you don’t feel like smiling. If stressed, seek guidance through His word. Don’t preach to others, but live through Him. In other words, practice what you preach. If I don’t feel or see it in you, how can I believe you? Remember, sometimes you can’t take back what you say. A lesson learned many years ago. If you are learning with experience, than you have done well.
As far as my writing, I put my frustrations and challenges into my writing. It is therapy for me in so many ways. I write for enjoyment, not for the money or how many books I sell. It should always be for the enjoyment and fun, otherwise it becomes a chore. We are always presented with challenges in life. Mine seem to be medical and physical. I have always had medical challenges in life. I have become disabled over the past five to six years through autoimmune complications, but I do not let it get me down. Instead, I write rather than sit in self-pity.
The other lesson is not to cross me or you will be written about. (just kidding) Seriously, yesterday I was very angry and pissed off, but today I am okay. I am a bit overly sensitive due to my background. Stay cool everyone and have a blessed Easter Sunday.
colinandray said:
As long as you are doing something productive, there will always be those who are negative. I believe it is explained by visualizing a “happiness scale”. Our happiness tends to be a relative term as compared to others. i.e. If you meet somebody who is deliriously happy, you may also feel happy but would generally feel less so.
With your negative person, they would be quite low on the happiness scale whereas you would be quite high. They have two theoretical choices – elevate their happiness level up to yours, or bring yours down to theirs. Bringing you down is perceived to be the easier route! That is apparently why we humans are so free to criticize success, and where the “misery likes company” saying originates! Keep smiling. You should be very proud of your books. 🙂
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annepm2015 said:
Thank you for your response and yes, I am proud to produce something. I didn’t realize this person was so miserable until I called yesterday. I am sorry for her pain, but it makes me feel stupid in a way. Rather, I stupidly called, knowing the hostility in the past. Anyway, I am over it and feel better (emotionally) today. Trying to care for an elderly mother and father. My mother has been ill lately. A time of stress for everyone. I didn’t sleep well on Friday night, but after a good night’s sleep last night, the world looks different today. A much more restful sleep. Thanks again for your response and I am usually fairly high on the happiness scale. 😉
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koolaidmoms said:
Hoping the skies clear and the sun comes out for you literally and figuratively! As for the relative, everyone who has had to deal with aging parents has gone through the judgements of others, especially close family. They “know”
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koolaidmoms said:
Sorry hit return too soon! They “know” what they think you “should” do but they are not there you are. You will make the right decisions.
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annepm2015 said:
You are right. I agree that one should “walk in another shoes” before judging that person. I try and feel I am doing the very best I can under the circumstances. All you can do is try anyway. I am not physically able anymore to do very much for anybody, but I do offer whatever help I can give. There is no easy solution or “magical pill” in this case. I feel I did no wrong yesterday. I will continue to pray for this person that the burdens of her heart ease and she is comforted. 🙂
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Just Plain Ol' Vic said:
You are doing right by yourself and living up to your responsibilities, who can ask for more? Good for you and wishing you the best this Easter weekend.
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annepm2015 said:
Thank you so much. That eases my heart. I am uplifted and need that right now myself. Have a happy Easter weekend as well! 😉
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walkerkaty0 said:
You did nothing wrong. I am sorry that you had to deal with that, especially from a family member. Happy Easter!
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annepm2015 said:
Thank you for responding. You are a sweet person. I think family members are the worst to deal with. Happy Easter!
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Janice Wright said:
Anne,
Happy Easter! Hope you have had a blessed day knowing you are loved by many & mostly by our Savior. Life has been difficult lately! We all have to continue to give each other grace & compassion, because everyone is usually going through something even though our challenges are different. I’m finally learning to be quick to forgive & not offended easily…because it makes my life full of much more joy. The Lord gives us all the ability to rise above as you continue to do. I’m proud of how you have used your writing talents to touch others. Hope you know I love you bunches!
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annepm2015 said:
Thank you, Janice. I love you bunches too. I am quick to temper (Irish temper), but quick to settle down also. Being offended and forgiveness are things I have constantly had to work on. I think some people are more sensitive than others. I wish everyone felt like you did though. I try to do what is right in life. I’m sorry that not everyone agrees with that. I am different and that is what makes us unique – we are different individuals. I feel the writing is a gift from God and I use it to reach people. I did have a good Easter. Hope you and family had a good Easter and weekend.
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